by Cate McNider
When you can’t go out, go in. Instead of getting more and frustrated and angry, look for shelter within. It’s there — you just have to explore. Here are some ideas on how.
Find a space in your home where you can sit comfortably. Turn off your phone. Close the door. Let anyone else around you know you’re ‘going in’ and you would appreciate not being disturbed. (Or you can just say you’re working.)
Now sit.
There’s a little more to this than you might think. Do your best to allow your spine to decompress by allowing your head to release up and away. Feel your sitz bones (they’re the two points of support at the base of your pelvis; your skull also has sitz bones that rest and are poised on the top cervical vertebra). Also feel the support of the chair under you, and allow your legs to release away. Come back and allow your head to move up. Now you have your frame established, and the spine is allowed to lengthen and widen.
Ok, now close your eyes.
Allow your breath to come and go. Let any tension soften and fade. You’ll soon notice your mind running random scripts, as it often does. Don’t engage with them. Allow them to float by, like clouds up above. This is actually hard to do — the mind is tenacious, with powerful habits. In fact, mental habits drive and direct physical habits. There’s no easy fix here: If you want to find relief, practice and be patient.
As a species, we rely on our minds to drive our lives — but there’s more in us. The mind is like an industry gatekeeper that doesn’t want to relinquish the power it’s gained, while you want to break through. Negative mental habits are self-defeating programs that you internalized as a child — what you heard, how you were treated, words and actions you misunderstood — and you’ve carried them into adulthood. And yes, by going within, these bad habits can be broken.
When you disengage the mind and nestle more in your being and heart, wonderful recognitions begin occurring, and you establish a deeper relationship with yourself. The noise of the mind is diminished, and you pay more attention to your body, breath and feelings. You take your power back from the past misunderstandings, and just let go. You take your life in your hands. . .in the best way possible.
This won’t happen overnight, but each experience builds on the last. Every negative habit you release reveals a deeper learning, but don’t let this dissuade you from going deeper into your being. It’s a unique process for each person, but the framework is largely the same.
Sit. Close your eyes. Be with yourself.
If you want to change yourself and the world around you, this is the best way — from the inside out. The world becomes a beautiful place because the world inside you has achieved acceptance and the struggles have been resolved. This is the meta goal, and every time you sit, you affirm; if you want to be loved, start by loving yourself.
Cate McNider has been working with the bodymind and spirit for 29 years. Through every stage of her healing and working with others through different modalities, she now finds the Alexander Technique, most actively helps others address pain and stress. She is giving online classes during this time of 'social distancing'. President of The Listening Body® has spent three decades in the Healing Arts — spanning Massage Therapy, Reiki, Embodied Anatomy, Yoga, Body-Mind Centering®, Contact Improvisation, Deep Memory Process® and more — and has further sensitized her instrument through the process of Alexander Technique. Her AT training represents the culmination of a lifetime of work and study and a springboard for future creations. Cate is also a painter and published. www.catemcnider.com and www.bodymind.training.