by Mariel BergerInspired after my Alexander/Therapy session with Jane Dorlester

Writing with a soft gaze and a loose grip around the pen might mean that you make more of a mess. And the thoughts that make their way to paper might be more of a wandering than an answer. A spiral of questions. Some what-ifs, whys and maybes.

For me, the impulse to write used to be a coming forward, a grasping, a leaning in to solve a problem --to think something through. My shoulders would be hunched forward, my fingers tight around the pen, and my frontal cortex would strain to figure everything out.

But there’s another place to be -- in the back body. A place of not knowing, holding or grasping. A place of letting go.

And to write and live from this place creates space for all possibilities. Instead of endings and conclusions, there might be … … … and questions. Instead of lines of thoughts, the words might spiral into a dance … a dance that leads anywhere.

So now, I soften my hand, gently letting the pen make its own words. Or, I let the words come to the pen. If there’s nothing to figure out ... I don’t have to do anything at all.

[author] [author_image timthumb='on']http://www.acatnyc.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/helsinki-sun-headshot.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]MARIEL BERGER is a composer, pianist, singer, teacher, writer, and activist living in Brooklyn, NY. She currently writes for Tom Tom Magazine which features women drummers, and her personal essays have been featured on the Body Is Not An Apology website. Mariel curates a monthly concert series promoting women, queer, trans, and gender-non-conforming musicians and artists. She gets her biggest inspiration from her young music students who teach her how to be gentle, patient, joyful, and curious. You can hear her music and read her writing at: marielberger.com[/author_info] [/author]